The Story of the I

It’s been bought to my attention that Google have an algorithm that allows the net to be searched completely automatically. It’s called Google Alert. You can type something in – your name for example – and it will alert you if you appear anywhere on the net. This explains how authors have been able to pinpoint things they don’t like in my blog, even though no-one I don’t already know actually reads it – they simply type in their name and Google does it automatically, e-mailing them with any new mentions of them as and when they occur. A valuable service, if a bit ‘Big Brother is watching you’-ish.

The only problem is that this does rather create a false impression of the accessibility of the material you are alerted to. I Googled an author’s name today – a famous one, now deleted from the blog – to see how many pages of results I’d have to trawl through before I found my mention of them amongst the hundreds of thousands of others. Both Google and I gave up at the 56th page of search results without finding me at all. Yet Google Alert, computerised and indefatigable, finds it without a problem seconds after it is typed up and presents it as if it were there for the whole world to see, when in fact it is practically impossible for someone searching for that author to ever come across it (presupposing the author is reasonably famous). Google might want to append a ranking of where the sites that are listed in their Alerts would place in a general search to give users an idea of how likely it is that anyone could ever find it. Could save a lot of needless anxiety.

On the plus side, I had an idea whilst pondering the above. If my mentioning authors is inevitably bringing me to their attention, mightn’t I be able to use it postively? Yes, is the answer.

By naming famous writers – who, let’s remember, would otherwise have no interest in me whatsoever – it should be possible to lure them to my blog. The appearance of their name would set off their Google Alert and draw them here. What I’d do once they were here I’m not sure, but at the very least by being nice to them, I might induce them to leave a comment. From there who knows? A conversation? A meeting of minds? A collaboration between a young-ish and ambitious writer (me) and a respected and established literary figure (them)? The possibilities are infinite, so let’s give it a go.

I will start off with my current idol:

DUMITRU TSEPENEAG – I can’t get enough of your VAIN ART OF THE FUGUE – please leave a comment if you read this.